His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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