Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
