She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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