Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
