we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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