I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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