Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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