He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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