Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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