we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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