What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
