he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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