Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
