I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
