Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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