if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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