So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
