No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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