worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
