haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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