worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I got inside last night via doggy door
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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