I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
