the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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