He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
