ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize