So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
