their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
