He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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