just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
time to smoke my breakfast
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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