Christians are straight up FREAKS
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
