Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My balls are so social today.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
