All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
