I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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