Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
