My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
