I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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