I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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