am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
