Pappa wants mamma naked
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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