why didn't you poke me back
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
