your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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