I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
