This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize