No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
