i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Bring me that man meat
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
