Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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