Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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