Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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