Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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