apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is the high leading the old right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
