if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
