I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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