The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Bring me that man meat
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
