I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
