the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
my poor anus
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
