what day is it and did you see me today?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
