it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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