Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
