I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
