You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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