Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
