just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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