You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
