woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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