You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
