Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If I die, sorry about rent.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
