Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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