I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i came on her dog
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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