White coat. Heels.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
