he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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