you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
