What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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