I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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