Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
