Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Welp...herpes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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