I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
