got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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