that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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