Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
MIDGETS
????
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
