she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
