tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
